Because rituals are the perfect ship and BDSM is the perfect compass to sail into the subconscious. Now let me explain why I would want to do that.
I’m an explorer of myself, and what it means to be me in the world around me. I believe that the most interesting things can be found looking inward, not outward. As they say “your world is a reflection of yourself”. With my work I want to offer you to try out my map, that I inherited from my teachers, to explore yourself.
99% of the unknown territory of you exists in your subconscious, and your rational thinking mind has limited ways to access that. The subconscious is the collection of all your experiences, and some of the experiences inherited from the generations before you. All this knowledge is put into a complex structure for evaluation and decision making, and the only way you notice this is by your intuition, emotions, and dreams. The rational thinking mind is goal oriented, this is both a curse and a blessing because it optimizes your thinking around dealing with the tasks to reach that specific goal. So we human beings have very good tools for solving our everyday problems but are quite limited in going on journeys of exploration. Of thinking outside the box, to use an overused expression. This is where rituals and BDSM come into play.
Rituals are a great vehicle to travel into our subconscious because they induce a dream-like state where we can follow our intuition while being closely connected to our emotions. Or they “can” do this, if designed correctly. They can also be completely pointless. A good ritual creates a safe enough to space to brave enough to let go of the goal-oriented rational thinking mind, and sink into this dream-like space. They do this by setting boundaries in time and space. You know when the ritual will happen and for who long. And you know with whom because once a ritual has started the space is locked for new people to enter. You can still always leave. And in the ritual, all participants share a common overall intention, and a concrete frame of action steps, that acts as a lighthouse on the journey.
A ritual can be designed for anything, and that’s why the combining it with BDSM is so powerful. BDSM offers a wide variety of techniques that touches upon the core of what it means to be human and exists in the world. Some subjects that I like to explore in rituals are – pain and pleasure, dominance and submission, restriction and freedom, and devotion and primal desire. Why?
Pain and pleasure touches delayed gratification and acceptance, put us in contact with out bodies, makes us feel strong, and shows how our evaluation direct alter our experience.
Dominance and submission touches the hierarchies we are born in to exists in, it teaches us to balance between leading and following, and to handle the rush of power.
Restriction and freedom alter the perception of ourselves, brings our attention of details that we didn’t know exists, and show the connection between physical shape and emotion.
Devotion and primal desire touches upon the relationship between the body (the flesh and bones), the heart (love and emotions), and the mind (logic and belief).
These subjects are so deeply integrated into our subconscious, so they actually can be approached in an initiative way. This is made success by integrating BDSM into rituals, and it is different from how BDSM often is presented as a set of intellectual ideas (what knot works best when) and practical techniques (how to swing a flogger). I believe that depth of BDSM is in the ritualized journey into the subconsciousness. On that journey, we both learn from and alter the subconscious, and in that way, we train our intuition and our emotional relationship to these core elements of the human experience. That is why BDSM in rituals can be so highly transformative.
And it is made safe – by the safe enough space to be a brave environment that helps to conquer the fears and taboos around BDSM. By the consent culture from BDSM, and the clear frame of the ritual that goes hand in hand. By the consciousness about the intention that acts as a guide on the exploration. And also by moderation (don’t mix BDSM and Ayahuasca) and empowering all participants to pick their own level of involvement. This is why I picked rituals as a ship and BDSM as my compass, and why I want to share them with you.