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Category: #the human bondage

Touching the symbolic body (2020)

This weeks musing is kind of a continuation of Four languages of power, as it asks – how can touch be a symbol for so much. I first got in contact with this idea of the symbolic body after leaving my career job to study medical massage therapy. Before this, touch had almost always been sexual for me, especially when involving naked people. I remember having massive anxiety in our school’s clinic when working with neck-and-shoulder pains. To help a patient long term, one needs to release the pectoralis minor muscle, and my problem was that this muscle sits under the breast on a female body. I quickly learnt the difference between touching the skin to arouse a partner, and simply moving an impractical piece of meat covering a tiny but very tense muscle.

A longing for belonging (2020)

This weekend I participated in an online gathering called “The Orgasmic and Loving Couple”. My contribution was to be part of a rope bondage performance. So I started to write about the theme to understand it, and the word that became most salient to me was “couple”, in the spirit of, being two instead of one. This enables a whole range of experiences when one can relate to something outside of themselves. Something that gives feedback and that is not an object, but a subject equal to oneself–usually this a person, or an animal. There is a form of currency involved, one that symbolizes the value of being a “couple” and that is trust.

While we are falling (2020)

To surrender is to fall.
To fall in trust, that we will be caught, by another, or by life.
We arch our spine out of balance, to where we lose control.
Backwards into the unknown. To the place that we can’t see.
We expose our heart, our neck, and our belly, as symbols of trust.
We are vulnerable, but yet strong.
We are suspended in time – forever falling.

Workshop: Intimacy of a pattern (2020)

Rope bondage is often taught as a pattern, and schooling traditionally starts with the upper body harness called the Gote, or Takata Kote. I can remember my first lessons almost fifteen years ago. It was the same back then, and I was thrilled to learn the patterns of Osada Steve. Make a knot here, friction there, pass the rope like this, and finally finish with a decoration. But something was often lost in the technicalities, that was the relationship to the person in the ropes, and the shared intimacy.

Being ‘Bakushi’ (2020)

It’s winter in Tokyo, and almost exactly ten years since I first came here to study bondage. One of my most notable teachers at that time was Yukinaga Max in Copenhagen and his partner Tina, and they taught me the way of Yukimura Haruki (who died 2016). Yukimura was famous for “unlocking the eros of a thousand woman”. Since I never met him, my relationship with him is that of a myth, and maybe that makes his influence on me ever stronger. I was told that he rarely tied people that he knew, or had relationships with, but always was curious about new people. One reason could be that he worked in the pornographic industry that has many girls and a few guys. And another, that he was famous so women would seek him out to open up their dark, forbidden eros. He was Bakushi.

Why rope bondage is a kick-ass spiritual practice (2020)

Surprisingly to many rope bondage is unfolding in the spiritual community. From the lush jungles around Ubud to sandy beaches of Koh Phanang, to bohemian clubs of Berlin, and shamanistic circles in cold Scandinavia. How has it come to that practice from the Japanese BDSM-subculture is growing from a tiny seed into an everyday spiritual practice?

Workshop: Shame and Predicament (2020)

In this workshop, we will move from the physical to the emotional, on a journey through pain and predicaments. I believe that many people start as physical sadists and masochists because it is safer to play with the body than the mind, but eventually, we are all curious to see what happens when we start to mess with our ego and pride. In one way, the main focus of this workshop is trust – how to embody it and move with it. Our primary tool will is rope bondage because it is versatile and comes with a long legacy of shame play while providing the opportunity to challenge the body significantly.

Workshop: Eroticism and Desire (2020)

In this workshop, the focus is the perverted desire of rope bondage, rather than engineering a technical experience. We will explore ties and theories that help the rigger to express this perverted desire on a journey through the darker path of eroticism. We will go into objectification, exposure, shame-play, forced serving and taking pleasure from our bottom, to step beyond merely emphatically following along on bottoms journey. The rope bondage then becomes the essential tool to motivate and manipulate the bottom through both pain and pleasure, so they remain curious about going down the rabbit hole of the riggers desire.