Skip to content

Category: #the human bondage

Book: Somatics for rope bottoms (2021)

My friend Natasha Nawataneko sent me her book called Somatics for Rope Bottoms, so I read it, and now I’ll dedicate this weekly musing to my thoughts on it. My first impression is that this book is not for me, as I mainly tie nowadays. The book is a fellow companion for rope bottoms exploring what makes their experience meaningful, and the answer is often found in the body. I habitually tend to arrange things hierarchically—things like concepts, such as surrendering the physical body is less “deep” than offering one’s devotion. And I also put things in relation to one other, like the polarity between surrendering and submitting. It helps beginners to approach my area of expertise. However, I often believe that the question is more valuable; for example, what is the relationship between surrendering the physical body and devoting oneself? And this is what the book left me with, questions, to ask myself, to structure my view of rope bondage.

Facing challenge, and the sweet surrender (2020)

Often when people come to me for private rope sessions, they express an interest in suspensions. The ideas about it are many; it can be “ultimate surrender”, defeating gravity, or flying. Maybe the peaceful faces often seen in bondage pictures are alluring—the beautiful suffering, that Japanese bondage has made almost iconic. In reality, hanging in ropes is both a physical and emotional challenge. I believe that there are two fundamental ways to handle hardship, generally in life, particularly in bondage.

Workshop: Tantric Ropes for Couples (2020)

Did you do a beginner’s tantric rope workshop, and want to take the next step technically while still keeping the focus on the human connection?

Do you enjoy Andy more philosophical and experiential approach to bondage? And think that BDSM is more about power then whips and chains?

And do you prefer learning in small and intimate groups rather than big workshops? Great! Then this is the right thing for you.

Workshop: Rope bondage for bodyworkers (2020)

Do you want to include rope bondage in your sessions?

How do you dominate someone while still serving them professionally?

What are the seven keys to making a stranger trust you and surrender?

I’ve been developing my therapeutic rope bondage for the past ten years. I often meet bodyworkers that have discovered the power of bondage in my festival workshops and decided to include it in their session, with great success. But I get the questions, what to do in this and that situation, so I decided to do this two-day workshop dedicated to session givers.

Ritual: The surrendered masculine (2020)

In a traditional tantric relationship, there is the sexual polarity between the masculine and the feminine. The masculine oscillates between serving and dominating, while the feminine between surrendering and submitting. There is no strict connection to physical gender, or what one has between their legs. However, there is a risk of getting stuck in one polarity, and that can be very draining. I believe that every person need spaces to serve, dominate, surrender, and submit. That means to act out both their masculine and feminine.

Listening, the first step to domination (2020)

Lately, I’ve been practicing a Taoist tea ceremony, and my teacher talks a lot about the relationship between space and content. I very much find myself to be a content-first person. That means that whenever I have some space, in my schedule or my environment, I tend to fill it with content. If there are five minutes until I’m meeting a friend for coffee, then I take the chance to watch another snippet of a Youtube video that has been open in a tab since forever. However, I also notice that this has slowly been changing since I left my career job five years ago. There are less furniture in my home, less cloth in my wardrobe, and less clutter in general.

Tying a man (2020)

I’m always very curios about what people experience when tied by me. I had two sessions with this man about a year ago, and he wrote about it on his blog The Integrated Man Blog. After asking, he allowed me to crosspost it here, if he could remain anonymous. So the man on the picture is not the author of the text. Anyhow, thank you for the trust and here is his story.

Bondage and beauty (2020)

For me, beautiful and gratitude is deeply connected. I experience this when I get the chance to pause for a movement and marvel in the grandness of life. It brings me presence, and the longer that I can stay present, the more details are revealed to my awareness. Therefore in my bondage, I believe that the more I can perfect details by seeing them, the more beautiful my results will be. The connection to presence is essential because a specific knot is only pleasing when it is in the “right” movement – that is transient, elusive, and ever-changing. Therefore there is no pattern to beauty, and there is no beauty in patterns. Instead, the key is to practice presence and perfection. And I know it is “right” when I feel gratitude.