Skip to content

Category: #the human bondage

My Ikebana Teacher (2023)

…another collection of flowers wrapped in more newspaper and the same paper with the same instructions. I soon realise that I learn more from how my teacher greets me in the morning and brews tea than from her instructions about cutting leaves, shaping branches and picking flowers. There is a way of being, being taught, by being.

Men tying men (2023)

…and then they get to tie each other. If I have their consent, I like them to switch partners and roles. Circularly and ceremonially, moving from man to man, sometimes even with their eyes closed, to embrace each meeting as a wave of the ocean. And keeping the experience about themselves rather than forming a relationship. Some laugh and cry, others moan and blush, and some feel nothing. And that is just as it should be.

Gallery: Why only black and white? (2023)

Why black and white only? Because it creates a dream-like abstraction from reality. That is already there in my play. The sadomasochistic power game we play is not real because it’s conscious and consensual. And once it ends, we are back to the status quo. But we allow ourselves to fall in love with the question; what if this was forever?

Gallery: In Krakow (2022)

Another photo shoot from my travels. This time in Krakow, Poland, and an old industrial building turned into an art space for dance and aerial performances. Photos by maciakfoto.pl

Gallery: Silent woods (2022)

Recently my musing has become much more silent. The reason is that I’m working on a book by putting my thought process from the last five years into a single narrative and combining that with some personal stories. It will probably take a year; meanwhile, I’ll try to post more pictures—this time from the autumn woods in Austria.

Ode to the throat (2022)

Finally, the tongue, I almost forgot it. It grows surprisingly deeply into the throat. Tying it, pulling it out and directing its movement affects the whole throat and, therefore, the spine, the limbs and the entire body. There is something animal-like about it—to interact with the world using the tongue. Licking as a sign of appreciation and drooling as a sign of excitement, and tasting as an exploration. It’s one of the first evaluations of what goes into the body and what doesn’t.

Workshop: Happily masochistic (2022)

Is the experience still masochistic if the protagonist is no longer the one in pain? During this time, we will explore the perversions and taboos of the dominant using the mutual trust built in our previous physical and emotional masochistic practices. I think there is a seed of curiosity planted after experiencing the vulnerability of masochism, and it’s also healthy to put the dominant in the centre, in the place of being, after days of doing. There is, or could be, an exciting turn in the narrative here. In the question: will the dominant instantly fulfil their desire, or do they prefer to stay on the edge of their excitement? In a way, edging or denying themselves the climax, and therefore diving into the masochistic fantasy as the protagonist themselves.

What emotions are welcome in your bondage? (2022)

For me, the negative emotion closest at hand in bondage is sadness. I often describe my sessions as sad love stories, and my soundtrack almost always plays in the minor scales. There is a sense of longing, longing for belonging, and longing for freedom. But it never gets there. When diving deeply into a power dynamic, sometimes even climaxing, there is always a coming back to equals, average, and status quo. The polarity is too volatile to keep forever, especially if it has been strong. I believe that being entirely immersed in dominance, control, submission, and surrender for too long is not healthy. It’s like we, at some point, need to raise the head about the water if just for a single breath or pull the parachute in the middle of free falling, independently of how mesmerizing the movement is. Leaving this state brings sadness, and so does knowing that it’s not for real and not forever. However, there is great potential in learning to let go and say goodbye. People often ask me if it doesn’t hurt, and sure it does, but it hurts because it meant something. It was meaningful.

Word words words or; Kinky Kinbaku vs Shibari “Healing” (2022)

I’m in Brazil, mostly for vacation, living in a tropical eco-village on the coastline of Bahia. There is a small sex-positive festival happening here in a couple of days, and of course, I’m teaching some rope bondage. But what kind of bondage? Japanese? Swedish? It’s a practice, and a legacy, that I learned in Japan, then brought to Sweden, and now I’m moving it to Brazil. Swedish and Japanese culture is similar in many ways but also vastly different, and Brazilian culture is vastly different yet again. (I think I’ve only been here for a week so far). The bondage I learned to love in Japan grew out of perversion and taboo, and my favourite European teachers kept that spirit, and so do I in my private bedroom practice. Then I work professionally in the field of tantra, conscious kink and alternative therapies. This calls for a colossal adaptation in terms of consent and a strange mixture of rationality and spirituality. When I try to explain to someone in Tokyo’s red-light district that I teach bondage in European (and now Brazilian) spiritual communities, they look perplexed. They might tell how they turn their statues of Shinto deities away from a rope bondage scene, as the practice is considered unholy and dirty. But then the heteronormative gender roles of Japan where “maledom” (male domination) isn’t a kink but everyday life, and “femdom” is a popular perversion. This, obviously doesn’t work in Scandinavia. Instead, the words “sadisto” and “masochisto” are much more used, as the power dynamic is already assumed. And then, in terms of alternative therapy, everything is again thrown upside-down as there is a money transaction involved, and the goal is no longer mutual pleasure. Rope bondage, as a practice, has traveled with me for many years, and it changes all the time depending on context. But then we have the words that describe the practice. This musing I want to dedicate to those words.

The act of undressing (2022)

The whole situation is created. By asking her to wear the kimono. By telling her to dress in the bathroom. By everyone else being so dressed differently. And she loves it. She feels safe and vulnerable at the same time. And she has everyone’s attention on her. The situation would be completely different if she started naked. Tying rope is like telling a story, and so is undressing your partner. It is the transformation from covered to exposed that is the point. And that makes a tiny inch of bare skin so much more erotic.

asperitas dark clouds in gloomy sky

The soundtrack of my rope bondage (2021)

I often describe my rope bondage as a sad love story, where we witness a hidden desire slowly being reviled. There is rawness and vulnerability. Another way of seeing it, or maybe more correctly hearing, is that my soundtrack plays in the minor scales. My tying style has three essential roles: the person tying, the one being tied, and the one witnessing. Music adds a fourth, the one leading. I often find it complicated to demonstrate rope bondage because people risk copying our emotional expressions rather than expressing themselves. Yet, I still do the demonstrations because it’s worth it. The non-verbal message is so powerful. And music is a little bit the same for me because it dictates the scene’s mood.