Category: #the in-between space
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A Wordless Play Space at the Sexsibility Festival (2023)
People dress up to the teeth, sparkly, unapologetically, and mix everything: spanking, dancing, orgasming. They simply go bananas for one night. But that’s not how I work. It’s not sexy to me. Don’t get me wrong. I love the hedonistic techno underground scene. It was what first pulled me to Berlin more than twenty years…
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A Perversion of Tea at Xplore (2023)
I’m curious what is an invitation to a sadomasochistic play. What frames such an intimate interaction between people? Often in “the scene”, there is an emphasis on being as straightforward as possible, breaking things apart into dynamics, kinks and identities. There is a clear need of knowing what one will get. So I must describe…
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Trailer: Point of Surrender (2023)
The Point of Surrender is a fusion of tantra and BDSM, and we want you to come as a couple to the course. It does not have to be your life partner, you can bring a lover or a friend with whom you feel safe to explore both light and dark.
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Death meditation, the experience of Hajnalka Indigo Wings
The voice says, “The next number is…” Then, a profound moment of quietness. An infinite second of certainty. It is going to be me. It is my turn. Now, it is my turn, and there is nothing I can do. I sit at that moment as it stretches into endlessness, and I feel everything. I…
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The Downfall of Horniness (2022)
So I think a key to dominance in a sadomasochistic play is being the one less needy for sex. Sometimes I joke that when meeting a new play partner, she will have to beg desperately on her knees before I would fuck her. And if the power more turns me on than the sex, I’ll…
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Gallery: Point of Surrender Winter (2022)
Currently busy with my book project, there is something that I often think about—the relationship between surrender and connection. However, while writing, I realize that I dislike the term connection. It’s so vague. Instead, I think intimacy is the thing. Or maybe trust. The next Point of Surrender is in May. Maybe I’ll see you…
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Point of Surrender for the newly-in-love, busy-with-life and fun-before-death (2022)
Two more weeks until the sixth edition of the Point of Surrender, the five-day couples retreat I do with Lin Holmqvist, “Where BDSM meets Tantra”, is one point of surrender. Every time we make this retreat, I realize that Tantra and BDSM become more and more of a modality to understanding the dynamics of a…
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The cord that wasn’t cut (2022)
Playing with BDSM forges an emotional bond. And there is nothing strange in that. It’s even what many people keep looking for because they want to feel. And they want to belong. However, this connection might remain for a long time, like unfinished business. And therefore cause harm, hiccups and heartache. Some might even enjoy…
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Being human (2022)
But what happens instead is some people burst into an explosion of silliness and start to play. They want to have fun dying. Others pull together, by a magnetical sexual force, in one last expression of intimacy and horniness. But most meditate, eye-gaze, slow dance, and cry in a hug. But there is a lot…
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Death meditation, the experience of Candice Leigh (2022)
This year at the Ängsbacka Tantra Week, I did a death meditation. It was a dream and nightmare coming true. I’m still processing and musing about my experience, but here is the story of Candice Leigh.
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Art of rejection (2022)
From the submissive side, there is relaxation when I accept that someone else controls my desire. And that they’ll clearly show me when something is wrong. The rejection doesn’t have to be loud and theatrical, but it can be subtle, maybe only understandable by the two souls involved in the play. There is an elegance…
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Being fetish (2022)
Within psychology, the pathological definition of fetishism is having one’s sexual attraction tuned towards inanimate objects or body parts not traditionally viewed as sexual. Shoes and feet are typical examples. For it to actually be pathological, one must be unable to function sexually without the fetish. While, on the other hand, it’s widespread to “have…