Category: #the session work

  • Interview: The Healer Hub Podcast (2023)

    Interview: The Healer Hub Podcast (2023)

    Listen to me talking about bondage from the perspective of both Art and Healing. As sadomasochism and esoteric eroticism is getting more mainstream, I think it becomes utterly important to differentiate what is what. Therapy is the safe bet that has been proven and tested to use with the exposed and vulnerable. Art is the…

  • Things to know about trauma when tying ropes (2022)

    Things to know about trauma when tying ropes (2022)

    Perceiving trauma as a protection mechanism, I think, helps. Someone had a shocking experience and is trying to avoid it again. And it makes sense; however, our nervous system doesn’t know if the circumstances change. Simply the difference between a kid being forcefully wrapped in a blanket until it’s impossible to breathe compared to an…

  • Fetishization of vulnerability (2022)

    Fetishization of vulnerability (2022)

    So this fetishization of vulnerability, what happens when it happens outside a defined container? If anything, it makes relationships stuck in fixed polarity. So, for example, someone stuck in the rescuer role will never have access to expressing vulnerability. Instead, they might find themselves constantly on their tip-toes, waiting to be needed by their partner’s…

  • An anatomy of yes and no (2022)

    An anatomy of yes and no (2022)

    But how do I know when to say “No”? One way is feeling my nervous system and recognizing how it feels when I’m getting towards the borders of my window of tolerance. This is a very embodied approach. What if I want to say no before getting close to my edges. I think it depends…

  • Bodywork and intimacy (2022)

    Bodywork and intimacy (2022)

    In my experience, intimacy doesn’t need to be sexual. Sexuality in relationship to bodywork is already complicated because of prostitution, unfaithfulness in relationships, and how it’s portrayed today with over-dramatic fiction and pornography. Retreats and play parties are outstanding opportunities to learn about and celebrate sexuality; doing it inside a therapeutic relationship is more complex.…

  • Trauma, consent and trust; or what to do when things go wrong? (2021)

    Trauma, consent and trust; or what to do when things go wrong? (2021)

    BDSM and tantra are almost always edgy subjects. They are attractive because there is a promise of adventure. But the thing with adventure is that there is always a risk of something going wrong. And it will if you keep practising long enough. So what to do when the shit hits the fan? I think…

  • The story of Valentina, my third ritual (2021)

    The story of Valentina, my third ritual (2021)

    Obviously, an initiation into BDSM is a very personal and unique experience, and many are shy to share about it in depth. However, when Valentina started the program in the autumn of 2021, she decided to be brave and let others follow along on her journey. So here are her journals and recordings.

  • The story of Valentina, my second ritual (2021)

    The story of Valentina, my second ritual (2021)

    Obviously, an initiation into BDSM is a very personal and unique experience, and many are shy to share about it in depth. However, when Valentina started the program in the autumn of 2021, she decided to be brave and let others follow along on her journey. So here are her journals and recordings.

  • The story of Valentina, my first ritual (2021)

    The story of Valentina, my first ritual (2021)

    Obviously, an initiation into BDSM is a very personal and unique experience, and many are shy to share about it in depth. However, when Valentina started the program in the autumn of 2021, she decided to be brave and let others follow along on her journey. So here are her journals and recordings.

  • The goddess in a masculine world (2021)

    The goddess in a masculine world (2021)

    “She was no demi-mondaine who had taken a pseudonym to wage war upon the masculine sex, but the goddess of Love in person.” – Severin, in Venus in furs I recently wrote about my most archetypical client, “the masculine woman in the masculine world”. The feedback was excellent, so I’ll in this weekly musing talk…

  • Transference and being put on pedestals (2021)

    Transference and being put on pedestals (2021)

    There is a rule at many of the events where I teach and co-create; that one may not abuse their position of power. Of course, the most obvious interpretation is; do not fuck your students. But there are many more layers to it, especially when working in the field of trauma and recovery. Transference is…

  • The masculine woman in a masculine world (2021)

    The masculine woman in a masculine world (2021)

    I’m often asked; why people pay to be bound in rope, and the answer depends heavily on the person paying. And most of my clients are female, about 75%, I would estimate, and this musing is a fictional description of a much too common life situation.