“Andy is an avid writer, researcher and teacher of his topic and frames the subject of BDSM, rope bondage and power play with a very philosophical approach.
Engaging with our primal essence and integrating it so we can work with it and not against it can be a challenge, but through the channels of power play and BDSM we can learn a lot about ourselves, create space to safely play with our wild side and create containers to hold the full spectrum of our humanity.”
Well, this summer was a bit of a COVID-bummer but at least I spent two weeks at Ängsbacka teaching the things I love. Here are some of the songs that I used.
Lately, I’ve been practicing a Taoist tea ceremony, and my teacher talks a lot about the relationship between space and content. I very much find myself to be a content-first person. That means that whenever I have some space, in my schedule or my environment, I tend to fill it with content. If there are five minutes until I’m meeting a friend for coffee, then I take the chance to watch another snippet of a Youtube video that has been open in a tab since forever. However, I also notice that this has slowly been changing since I left my career job five years ago. There are less furniture in my home, less cloth in my wardrobe, and less clutter in general.
I wrote this a few years ago as an attempt to understand myself. It started with my participation in the 2018 European Men’s Gathering provoking my belief that what I have learned about masculinity through BDSM is of great value. I like the analogy that BDSM is a predator living inside of me. At first, I was trying to hide from its existence. Later it tempted me into exploring my sexual perversion. And now I’m riding the beast that once scared me. At least well enough to share my story.
I’m always very curios about what people experience when tied by me. I had two sessions with this man about a year ago, and he wrote about it on his blog The Integrated Man Blog. After asking, he allowed me to crosspost it here, if he could remain anonymous. So the man on the picture is not the author of the text. Anyhow, thank you for the trust and here is his story.
This week I want to write about my most recent passions, that is the exploration of mask possession. I have for a very long time been collecting masks on my walls, but it is when they come to life that things start to become really interesting – because they give permission to experience the world through a new set of eyes, and therefore also myself. I’ve seen people spotlighting limiting beliefs and self-doubts, some that are as old as themselves, and completely altering their attitude towards them, by wearing a new face. And it is playful and fun, but still profoundly therapeutic.
For me, beautiful and gratitude is deeply connected. I experience this when I get the chance to pause for a movement and marvel in the grandness of life. It brings me presence, and the longer that I can stay present, the more details are revealed to my awareness. Therefore in my bondage, I believe that the more I can perfect details by seeing them, the more beautiful my results will be. The connection to presence is essential because a specific knot is only pleasing when it is in the “right” movement – that is transient, elusive, and ever-changing. Therefore there is no pattern to beauty, and there is no beauty in patterns. Instead, the key is to practice presence and perfection. And I know it is “right” when I feel gratitude.
I often get compliments on my photos of rope bondage. People say that they display a sort of vulnerability and melancholy, that is both haunting and beautiful. And I usually reply, without thinking too much, that is because I took them during a session. So what is this session? Bluntly expressed, it is when the attention changes from a pattern to a person to a relationship.
We welcome you to celebrate the peak of summer with a play party. Together we will form a circle of love, where you represents one of the elements – Fire – Water – Air – Earth – that you want to invite into your life. Fire is wild and raving. Water is mysterious and dominating. Air is free and surrendered. Earth is loyal and serving. Together they bring balance to our play.
Carl Jung wrote: Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness’s of other people. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.
Are you curious about BDSM and looking for a way to get started with a partner, friend or lover? As you probably know, BDSM is an umbrella abbreviation for Bondage, Dominance, Submission, Sadism and Masochism, and it connects deeply to various tantric ideas about polarity, presence and vulnerability.
This weeks musing is kind of a continuation of Four languages of power, as it asks – how can touch be a symbol for so much. I first got in contact with this idea of the symbolic body after leaving my career job to study medical massage therapy. Before this, touch had almost always been sexual for me, especially when involving naked people. I remember having massive anxiety in our school’s clinic when working with neck-and-shoulder pains. To help a patient long term, one needs to release the pectoralis minor muscle, and my problem was that this muscle sits under the breast on a female body. I quickly learnt the difference between touching the skin to arouse a partner, and simply moving an impractical piece of meat covering a tiny but very tense muscle.