This week I want to attempt to write about BDSM from a more philosophical and symbolic perspective. I do this to reach deeper because I experience that a logical approach limits me. I want to start in the ocean, as a symbol of life and motion. The depths can swallow me, and the waves can crush me. It is unpredictable and alluring. Temping me to let go. There is an ocean inside of me and an endless amount of unreleased potential. I’m 80% water. What would happen if I released its uncontrollable flow? Creative or destructive? Awesome or awful? Both at the same time. Ultimately the same. I have learnt to control my flow, to accept and respect the structures around me.
Did you do a beginner’s tantric rope workshop, and want to take the next step technically while still keeping the focus on the human connection?
Do you enjoy Andy more philosophical and experiential approach to bondage? And think that BDSM is more about power then whips and chains?
And do you prefer learning in small and intimate groups rather than big workshops? Great! Then this is the right thing for you.
I’m at the closing ceremony after a week-long gathering. We are sitting in a big circle, and the person on the microphone shouts out -Who is the most important person in your life? -ME ME ME! The crowd responses.
I’m observing a play party behind my mask. I see intimate couples in THEIR invisible bubbles fulfilling THEIR desires. In the opening workshop a few hours earlier the question is popped -What do YOU want tonight? What are YOUR dreams?
Hollywood is kidnapping the word love. They are using it to sell romantic comedies and reality shows. You know the Disney princess that marries the prince and lives happily ever after. There is a kinky roleplay scenario for this because it is a fantasy and not reality. Love is something else. I want to present a very orthodox Christian view on love. To give without expecting anything in return – to give without symmetry – how a parent provides for its child. Of course, they get something in return, but it is something different, something asymmetrical.
Do you want to include rope bondage in your sessions?
How do you dominate someone while still serving them professionally?
What are the seven keys to making a stranger trust you and surrender?
I’ve been developing my therapeutic rope bondage for the past ten years. I often meet bodyworkers that have discovered the power of bondage in my festival workshops and decided to include it in their session, with great success. But I get the questions, what to do in this and that situation, so I decided to do this two-day workshop dedicated to session givers.
In a traditional tantric relationship, there is the sexual polarity between the masculine and the feminine. The masculine oscillates between serving and dominating, while the feminine between surrendering and submitting. There is no strict connection to physical gender, or what one has between their legs. However, there is a risk of getting stuck in one polarity, and that can be very draining. I believe that every person need spaces to serve, dominate, surrender, and submit. That means to act out both their masculine and feminine.
“Andy is an avid writer, researcher and teacher of his topic and frames the subject of BDSM, rope bondage and power play with a very philosophical approach.
Engaging with our primal essence and integrating it so we can work with it and not against it can be a challenge, but through the channels of power play and BDSM we can learn a lot about ourselves, create space to safely play with our wild side and create containers to hold the full spectrum of our humanity.”
Well, this summer was a bit of a COVID-bummer but at least I spent two weeks at Ängsbacka teaching the things I love. Here are some of the songs that I used.
Lately, I’ve been practicing a Taoist tea ceremony, and my teacher talks a lot about the relationship between space and content. I very much find myself to be a content-first person. That means that whenever I have some space, in my schedule or my environment, I tend to fill it with content. If there are five minutes until I’m meeting a friend for coffee, then I take the chance to watch another snippet of a Youtube video that has been open in a tab since forever. However, I also notice that this has slowly been changing since I left my career job five years ago. There are less furniture in my home, less cloth in my wardrobe, and less clutter in general.
I wrote this a few years ago as an attempt to understand myself. It started with my participation in the 2018 European Men’s Gathering provoking my belief that what I have learned about masculinity through BDSM is of great value. I like the analogy that BDSM is a predator living inside of me. At first, I was trying to hide from its existence. Later it tempted me into exploring my sexual perversion. And now I’m riding the beast that once scared me. At least well enough to share my story.