BBC Reel and Eye Rise Films made a short documentary about my private work with two clients, Isabella and Mini. I think they did a good job portraying a practice of paradoxes and rituals at my home-studio in central Stockholm.

My private work with a client always starts with a single three-hour session. The experience contains conversation, tea, bodywork and integration. Most clients desire Japanese rope bondage as part of their bodywork, but the motivations always differ. Some have complicated traumatic demons to befriend; others long to let go and be held in a non-sexual intimacy; and finally, some bring a burning desire to explore their forbidden eros. Society today is built upon this weird unspoken agreement that intimacy and sexuality never mix. People often ask if I consider myself a sex worker, and my answer is no. I work with intimacy. That is what my clients long for. Sexuality is one of many ends to intimacy, but long before that end is trust, desire, surrender, ritual, submission, power, polarity, and the many other ingredients of eros.

Every session with Andy is like opening a mysterious box of secrets – secrets that are deeply hidden under numerous layers of external garbage that I tend to call ‘self’. I never know what I’ll find inside. I come with some messy armful of things…”


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Every session with Andy is like opening a mysterious box of secrets – secrets that are deeply hidden under numerous layers of external garbage that I tend to call “self”. I never know what I’ll find inside. I come with some messy armful of the things that bother my mind and hurt my soul, and Andy, being a highly intuitive person and knowledgeable master, can perfectly read and unfold my needs to create a unique experience through building a dialogue with my body which effectively leads me to unblocking a communication channel with that beyond-verbal, subpersonal (or even transpersonal) core that knows all the answers. For me, it’s a lot similar to a journey, and Andy is an excellent guide driving all that machinery to the unknown lands of the subconscious, making a trip safe and surrounded with care and unconditional love. I’m so much grateful to Andy for all the treasures I brought back from my journeys, for being such a sensitive, empathic and sharing person, and for building a trusting and sensual space where I can feel safe to let myself expose my vulnerability and learn about what level of freedom it can give; for relaxing tea conversations, for understanding and guiding, for creation of multi-dimensional playgrounds, for showing the beauty of universal dance of giving and receiving, power and surrender, will and matter.

My clients with a traumatic background often already went to talking therapy, and they intellectually know their story inside out. However, their body somehow still keeps the score like an ill-tuned alarm bell waiting to go off in the most inconvenient situations. Often related to men, intimacy and power. Making it impossible to intimately trust another or themselves for that sake. Other clients are the brave explorers with taboo dreams about domination, submission, pain and humiliation. But where to consciously go with these ashamed desires? A Tinder swipe-right one-night stand? Flirting with the dangerous-looking men at the all-night-open gas station? Or confessing it to their loved ones? Finally, I often meet the masculine woman stuck in a masculine world. She is empowered as fuck and fought harder than any man to successfully climb the hierarchies, but at the cost of forgetting how to surrender. Now she longs to reunite with the mysterious aspects of her eros rather than being forced to behave like a man in their unfair world.

“The way you tied my hair with rope and had complete control of the movements of my neck, and my postures, it was a way of wild and respectful freedom. No rush; total control and extremely sensual bondage with you changed the way I see myself. It is with devotion and gratitude that I write you this letter. You got one more enthusiastic fan.”


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I am still processing the beauty of the first session – and feeling extremely good about it. Something big changed inside myself, and I feel confident about my own identity and force. It was a spiritual enlightenment, solving questions that I even did not remember, like being able to revisit pain from a long past, facing it with beauty and calm, touching it without despair but with the confidence that in your hands, the guidance would be enough. I went into hypnosis almost immediately, and with my face down, my muscles were relaxed, and I entered a mysterious portal of gratitude for being held and taken care of even when experimenting with immense vulnerability. The inner visit to the dark sides is beautiful because it feels incredibly safe and in a sublime atmosphere, where the wish and desire need to wait. The feelings get stronger because there is no way to move forward; we are immobilized; we just need to accept what is given, the sound of the breathing, the intense pressure in the thigh, the enchanting way of seeing me tied so beautifully like a live sculpture become one of the most immense rewards. The way you look at us after doing your job makes us feel like creatures – like a proud artist contemplating his creation does. It will not be possible to forget the quiet sound of the rope touching my skin and the fascination of being undressed while tied. The way you tied my hair with rope and had complete control of the movements of my neck, and my postures, it was a way of wild and respectful freedom. No rush; total control and extremely sensual bondage with you changed the way I see myself. It is with devotion and gratitude that I write you this letter. You got one more enthusiastic fan.

What they all share in common is a longing for a safe enough space to be brave and focus on themselves without everything having such dire consequences. By paying me for a service, our interaction is clearly defined for them. That is, for me, the definition of the therapeutic relationship. And why I can never relate to a client privately afterwards because they would not know me as a private person. Seventy-five per cent of my clients are women, twenty per cent are couples, and five per cent are men. When my clients are happy, I offer a three-session package, with the third session for free. Finally, when ready, a handful of clients start the Initiation for the Submissive, which is a hundred-hour one-on-one program with three modules for the most dedicated. Also, from time to time, I’m given as a birthday present, as inspiration for an art piece, or the lottery prize at a bachelorette party; while a bit odd, this is also most welcomed.

What is next my dear unknown friend?

Frequently Asked Questions

Where do the sessions take place?

In my home-studio in Stockholm, Sweden. I’ll travel at an extra cost.

What do I wear?

Some like to feel the rope on their naked skin, while others want to be more comfortable in yoga-style clothing. It’s essential to avoid wearing a bra with metal trim in the cups, as the metal may be pushed into the ribs, causing nausea and bad pain. Of course, your genitals will always be covered.

Clothes also can be used to amplify the intention of a session. I have an extensive collection of Japanese kimonos that you may be dressed in. Many traditional Japanese bondage narratives incorporate ritualistic undressing as a symbolic gesture of exposing vulnerability. Sometimes, several layers of vintage silk, tabi socks, and susoyoke undergarments are selected to be removed piece by piece while the rope is wrapped around the body.

Can I bring a friend or partner?

Yes, totally. Having a witness present can be an empowering experience. Just make sure that you beforehand talk about their role during the session. Will they be scrolling the internet in another room, watching us from the sofa in the distance, or joining us on the mat? It is all up to you to decide.

If you want me to tie up your partner, ensure you have their consent beforehand. Or that you know them very well if you aim to make it a surprise.

Will I hang in the air?

The Japanese rope bondage pictures on social media often display bodies hanging midair in contorted postures. Some of my clients long for that experience, while others fear it. The pictures show the edge play of rope bondage, and to achieve it reasonably safely requires either careful step-by-step coaching of the one bound or years of experience challenging the body. Many people have experience pushing their bodies through endurance, like running a marathon. However, fewer have the experience of letting go into surrender under extreme conditions while still caring for their well-being.

I often half-suspend the bodies with most of the weight still on the floor. It’s usually enough to feel the pressure of gravity, the contortion of the body and loss of control from being postured in a specific position while remaining safe enough to focus on the felt experience of intimacy. At the rare times when a client explicitly requests a full suspension, I’m open to making a dedicated session about that, even in combination with photography, as the desire often seeds from social media pictures. I can also offer being fully suspended in a custom-made leather bag that brings the same experience of gravity and loss of control while being much safer and sustainable.

How is it therapeutic?

I’m a big fan of Judith Lewis Herman’s therapeutic three-level model developed for the aftermath of trauma. Firstly, get safe to avoid being re-traumatized. Secondly, re-tune the nervous system, and finally, re-integrate into society. My work is in the second half of that model, teaching my client’s body to trust in intimacy again. Peter A. Levine also inspires me in believing that the body knows how to restore balance and goodness when given the right circumstances.

Does it hurt?

What is painful or not is very personal. No one can ever feel another’s pain; we can only imagine it. However, I see no meaning in pushing my clients to endure. There is already plenty of forced opportunities to practice endurance. I offer the opposite when I offer surrender. And once a client surrender, their relationship to pain tends to change.

Is it dangerous?

I’ve caused severe nerve compression thrice in twenty years while tying a couple of hundred times yearly. And then it happened during something extraordinarily harsh and not in therapeutic sessions. From what I’ve read over the years, it almost always eventually heals back completely by itself. So it feels safe enough for me to offer rope bondage to strangers in exchange for money.

The most significant danger is nerve compression from too much pressure digging into an unlucky spot. The arms’ radial nerve is the most vulnerable and likely to be exposed, which means, in case of an accident, being unable to use the thumb for a couple hours (in mild cases) or up to three months (in severe cases). So let’s avoid that.

In the session, I teach my clients how to check their nerve functionality. And help them remember to do so. It’s an essential step in learning to balance between letting go of control into surrender while maintaining some responsibility for one’s well-being. Even if the risk of something happening is minimal, taking responsibility for one’s experience is empowering.

Can I feel you?

This is a multifaceted question. You may feel the ropes on your body. You may also feel that I’m doing this to you. And you may feel arousal from the situation. You may also touch me back if your hands are unrestricted, but I’ll always be fully dressed. Somewhere here, the line is drawn, and I’ll always take full responsibility for communicating if you are approaching it and not allowing you to cross it.

What if I panic?

If it happens, I’ll cut the ropes. But it has never happened yet during more than ten years of doing paid sessions. In general, I have a gentle approach to my therapeutic work.

Do you include activity XYZ?

The base of my work is almost always two different aspects of Japanese rope bondage; the sensation of being restricted and the relational dynamic of playing with power. I’ll also touch, move and manipulate my client’s body using my own body, which may revibrate in some emotional or energical aspects. On top of that, I may include some tools and techniques from sadomasochism and esoteric eroticism, like blindfolds, clamps, whips, wax, drums, feathers, fur, trigger points, massage, breath work etc. But I’ll always ask before the session starts if my intuition pulls me in any particular direction.

If you have any particular requests, you can also let me know.

What about feminism?

Some people argue that no woman can consciously volunteer for degrading and violent sex, and any man performing such acts is an abuser. Furthermore, any documentation of such sexuality is pornographic and teaches other men to rape women. However, many people still have such taboo desires. Telling women to repress their passion only replaces one non-consensual power hierarchy with another. And the repression will manifest the same behaviour unconsciously in another aspect of life.

So I believe that the most empowering action is to befriend the demons, so to speak. Either it will discharge the attraction or form a healthy relationship with it. Owning one’s own eros is the opposite of pornographic because the session aims to please the owner, not some anonymous paying audience across the internet. So yes, I think it’s an fucking extraordinary feministic manifestation to be tied up.

Are you missing a question?

Book a Session

Initiation for the Submissive

Are you ready? This is an exclusive hundred-hour program for the dedicated.

☉ Esoteric, philosophical, embodied and beyond bedroom bondage, party spanking and 50 Shades of Grey.

Andy is a real master in an old school way; He doesn’t always give you what you think you want, but often what you may actually need. Sometimes by generously sharing his vast experience, sometimes by withholding, frustrating, and turning the perspectives.

In three months, three weekends, or a lifetime. How deep does the rabbit hole go?

“I feel owned and overwhelmed by the feeling of quiet devotion to the figure of the dominant. Being initiated to the submission training at the hands of a master and artist like Andy Buru is itself a symbolic ritual very revealing of my own mysteries and hidden desires.”

Conquer your shame
and explore the forbidden eros

Valentina’s Journal

The Initiation for the Submissive is a very personal and unique experience, and many are shy to share about it in depth. However, when Valentina started the program in the autumn of 2021, she decided to be brave and let others follow along on her journey. Here is her recorded journal.

15 September 2021:

My First Ritual

Listen to the whole entry:

“I arrived promptly at his studio at 10 am. I felt at ease because, in addition to the friendly posture of the host, there was a fascination to the place—a mystical atmosphere. The focus of the session would be to learn how to get in and how to get out of the eroticised game as a submissive—exercising the signs, postures, looks and gestures that are appreciated by the dominant. Being trained to trust, to obey, to surrender. There is a mystery in the way Andy conducts the sessions. Each gesture is so perfect and precise that it’s sometimes hard to believe that the scene unfolding is part of reality. How can he read my fantasies and guide me without hesitation? The balance between knowing exactly how to dominate and discipline while loving and caring for whoever is submitting to it is an art.

5 October 2021:

Pleasure in PAIN

Listen to the whole entry:

“He put me on all fours. Hips up. When he pulls my hair, I like it. And I like it a lot. I love this position. My face almost on the floor. My ass up high. Feeling the vintage measurement cane in his hand. First, caressing, then squeezing my thigh until the moan comes. Softly. I’m shy. I have some difficulty expressing what turns me on. But I realized that I could stay there for a long time. I received the first thrusts that were bearable, this light pleasure in the pain, but then the hits became more intense, and my body reacted by pulling away. Andy whispered that this was the lesson. He could read what drew me closer and further away from pleasure and pain. He said good girl again.”

2 November 2021:

Overcoming Fear

Listen to the whole entry:

“Having my consent, he hooded me and hugged me from behind. Holding my chest, breathing along. I was so scared, and I said: Andy, I’m not going to make it, I’m afraid. I was afraid of passing out. Unable to see and with a hood over my head, I felt more vulnerable than I could tolerate. I couldn’t see, hear or breathe fluently. I was being deprived of three senses at once. I felt my body soften by fear, fear of death. Andy hugged me again and breathed together. He slowly explained to me how I could breathe calmly, that he was there with me, but of course, he would take the hood off if I needed to. But that he could guide me first without haste to breathe in there and trust him. I trusted him, and I was breathing with his hands in mine. With the synchronicity of the breath, the fear was alleviated, and I was not despairing anymore. Andy checked if he could continue, and I said yes. His security and mastery are very exciting.”

People say that most women don’t pay for sex. And I think it’s true because they don’t have to. Men are the ones who buy their desires in this heteronormative world of addiction to pornography and prostitution. However, when women catch up and claim the same hierarchical positions of power as men, they often end up in the same unbalanced situations, prioritising control over surrender. So it’s not strange that they long to let go and have the financial means to make it happen. But they don’t buy sex; they invest in intimacy, adventure and eros.

Sadomasochism is often misportrayed in some carnivalesque manner. Maybe you have seen the TV series Bonding (2019) about a young professional mistress with customers paying to wrestle her in inflatable rubber penguin suits or being humiliated for their pretend-to-be dysfunctional genitals. Or the emotionally absent and maniacally controlling billionaires with a secret obsession with young, emotionally unstable girls. The same story repeats itself in the Fifty Shades of Grey books (2011) and The Secretary movie (2002). Or the infamous Swedish TV show Outsiders, with people being whipped bloody in their search for God or competing to be crowned the Leather Puppy of the Year.

While I’m a liberal believer in the sentiment that Your Kink Is Not My Kink, But Your Kink Is Okay. And it’s essential that some brave explorers journey to the extreme edges of sadomasochism and esoteric eroticism. I’m certainly one of them. But my clients are not so radical; they are Insiders rather than Outsiders. And they are not desperately hunting for the ultimate satisfaction of a short-term desire. Instead, they are looking for self-development, to learn about their eros so they eventually know what guy to pick as a lover, but even more essential, as a lifelong partner. And how to deal with submission and surrender in the bedroom while simultaneously being a mother, a company president and a queen of motherfucking everything.

This is the seemingly impossible nut to crack. It’s a puzzle that fascinates my engineering mind because it’s so telling of our times. The initiation for the submissive is my attempt at a philosophical, esoteric, embodied and, most importantly, elegant suggestion. Let me guide your body, mind and heart to submission and surrender safely enough to be brave so you consciously and consensually can decide what power games you wish to participate in without shame or fear.

A professional initiation is 100% about you. There is no long-term love relationship that you have to care for, so we can focus completely on your experience. And there is no risk in you being too much or desiring your taboos. Your journey is split into three thirty-hour modules (beginner, intermediate and advanced) each containing three subjects with ‘a session’ at the centre and the necessary surrounding support structure.

Entering into this eroticised game of power is a ritual. The mind starts and ends the journey long before the sessions begin and continues long afterwards. Therefore, establishing your private practice to prepare for the time you spend with the dominant is essential. Inside the sessions, you, as the submissive, balance between letting go of your control and upholding your boundaries. Your alone time is different; it is 100% focused on you and what you need to submit and surrender. During the initiation, you will, step-by-step, with each subject, build a dedicated ritual for entering into the mindset of the submissive.

To integrate after the sessions, you will be given reading and writing assignments with each subject that reflects your personal journey. Between the sessions, we will meet at a cosy, secluded cafe at the centre of Stockholm to review your progress and discuss any questions that may arise. Integrating the knowledge gained into your everyday life is essential, whether it be in the competitive hierarchies at the office, the complex dynamics of family life, or the intimate relating with a loved one. Power and surrender are everywhere; during the initiation you’ll learn to bond to them in new ways that few knew were possible.

The Initiation for the Submissive hundred-hour program is for anyone (women, trans, non-binary, men) that identify as feminine and want to explore submission and surrender. Below you will find an overview of the subjects that we will cover.


Submission and surrender

Your first session is about the ritual of entering into submission and surrender to experience the difference between the two. You will learn how to take verbal and physical instructions from a dominant and be transparent with the emotions you feel as a submissive. The session also involves some light sensation play with both pain and pleasure. The symbolism of sadomasochism is another overall theme.

Non-verbal primal play

The second session focuses on body language, and non-verbal communication. How does your submissive body language change from the everyday expression? We will practice letting go of the mind and entering into a primal state of being, that is driven by the sensations of smell and taste. If submission is a symbol of the divine, then in this session you will be your animal, through the art of playing.

Sensory deprivation

The final beginner session is a about passivity and receiving, without being able to give anything in return. Adding to this will be “comfortable” bondage and sensory deprivation, to guide the bodily sensations. Vulnerability and exposure is another overlaying theme, and an introduction to fetishism.


Ritual and shame

What does it mean to be “a slave”? What happens when you let go of your ego and your definition of “who you are” or “who you have to be”? These are the fundamental questions when we step deeper into the rituals of sadomasochism to explore the subject of shame. It is the perfect opportunity to find freedom in your taboos and desires and let go of sexual and bodily shame.

Pain and breathwork

Pain is almost always the first association when thinking about sadomasochism. Whips, clamps, wax, and much more. In this session, we will explore how pain becomes pleasurable by releasing of endorphins. You will learn breathing techniques and body movement to aid this process, and we will practice using body language to communicate the experienced intensity.

Restriction and endurance

This session is all about challenging rope bondage, or what is often called Semenawa in Japanese. You will get to experience the connection between surrender, suffering, and freedom. And maybe ask yourself the question, what is worth suffering for? On the more practical side, play with the difference between static challenges and predicaments.


Serving and exhibitionism

Who is witnessing your submission? And what happens when you shift the focus outside yourself? Is that the final shape of surrender? These are the questions for the last exploration of ritual. If you are brave, you can invite your friends or loved ones.

Discipline and fear play

Can pain that is not physically pleasurable be emotionally rewarding? And is actually pain, or the fear of pain? This session will focus on discipline and challenging your submission. You might be surprised, but that often makes the surrender deeper.

Edging and DENIAL

Some experience sexuality as the golden thread of sadomasochism on the most philosophical level. A session can be seen as the longest form of foreplay, as a constant discovery of new edges of arousal. What happens if you hand over the control of this, as a part of your surrender?

Are you ready to let me welcome you into my world?

Basically, most of us will get turned on at night by the very same things that we will demonstrate against during the day.

– Esther Perel, the secret to desire in a long-term relationship

⤬ Pricing Table

Single session

3600 SEK

Three-session package

3600 SEK

3600 SEK


After a session, you have three days to accept the package deal. You will receive one invoice for two sessions and then have a third session for free. You have one year to use your sessions; after that, they are expired. It is recommended to do the three sessions within a six-week period

Initiation for the submissive


18000 SEK


18000 SEK


18000 SEK

⤬ Liability Agreement

To have a safer session, I understand that it is my responsibility to.

Before the session, state my boundaries, emotional and physical needs, and relevant traumatic experiences related to power, control and sexuality. And explain my ability to communicate during a session.

During the session, monitor my emotional and physical well-being and verbalize if a change is needed. Andy might be good at reading body language, but he is a horrible mind-reader.

After the session, if you realize that you had an unwanted experience or couldn’t communicate during the session, give this feedback to Andy as soon as possible.

Finally, remain aware that bondage, sadomasochism and esoteric eroticism can be dangerous activities. Both physically and emotionally. And even if Andy is a professional with many years of experience, the client is ultimately responsible for their experience.

⤬ Rescheduling and Cancellation Policy

You can cancel your session for free until two weeks before the appointment; after that, there is a cancellation fee of 1200 SEK. You can reschedule for free until two days before the appointment; after that, there is a rescheduling fee of 1200 SEK. If you fail to show up without prior notice, you will be charged 3600 SEK for the full session.