Modern society seems to operate on an unspoken agreement that intimacy and sexuality must remain separate. Perhaps that’s why so much pornography lacks emotional intensity, relational complexity, and genuine depth. My work is not about creating pornography, nor about performative sex. While people sometimes ask whether I consider myself a sex worker, my answer is no. I work with intimacy — that is what my clients are truly seeking. Sexuality can be one expression of intimacy, but it is not where it begins. Before that comes trust, desire, surrender, ritual, submission, power, polarity, and the subtle forces that shape eros.
My private work with a client almost always begins with a single three-hour session to determine whether we are a good match. The experience includes conversation, tea, bodywork, and time for integration.
Most clients come to me for Japanese rope bondage, for guidance through sadomasochistic paradoxes, and for my rituals of esoteric eros. But the motivations behind that desire vary widely. Some arrive carrying complex, often traumatic parts of themselves they want to meet and befriend after years of therapy. Others long to let go and be held in a space of non-sexual intimacy. And some bring a burning desire to explore the forbidden edges of their own eros.
Ilana
“The way you tied my hair with rope and had complete control of the movements of my neck, and my postures, it was a way of wild and respectful freedom. No rush; total control and extremely sensual bondage with you changed the way I see myself. It is with devotion and gratitude that I write you this letter. You got one more enthusiastic fan.”
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I am still processing the beauty of the first session – and feeling extremely good about it. Something big changed inside myself, and I feel confident about my own identity and force. It was a spiritual enlightenment, solving questions that I even did not remember, like being able to revisit pain from a long past, facing it with beauty and calm, touching it without despair but with the confidence that in your hands, the guidance would be enough. I went into hypnosis almost immediately, and with my face down, my muscles were relaxed, and I entered a mysterious portal of gratitude for being held and taken care of even when experimenting with immense vulnerability. The inner visit to the dark sides is beautiful because it feels incredibly safe and in a sublime atmosphere, where the wish and desire need to wait. The feelings get stronger because there is no way to move forward; we are immobilized; we just need to accept what is given, the sound of the breathing, the intense pressure in the thigh, the enchanting way of seeing me tied so beautifully like a live sculpture become one of the most immense rewards. The way you look at us after doing your job makes us feel like creatures – like a proud artist contemplating his creation does. It will not be possible to forget the quiet sound of the rope touching my skin and the fascination of being undressed while tied. The way you tied my hair with rope and had complete control of the movements of my neck, and my postures, it was a way of wild and respectful freedom. No rush; total control and extremely sensual bondage with you changed the way I see myself. It is with devotion and gratitude that I write you this letter. You got one more enthusiastic fan.
Clients with a traumatic background have often already spent years in therapy. They know their story intellectually. But the body keeps the score — like an ill-tuned alarm bell, ready to go off at the most inconvenient moments. Often in connection to men, intimacy, and power. It makes it difficult to trust — others, and themselves.
Other clients are explorers. They carry taboo desires around domination, submission, pain, or humiliation — but don’t know where to place them. A Tinder one-night stand? Flirting with danger? Confessing it to a partner?
And then there is the woman who has learned to operate in a masculine world. She is powerful, successful, and has fought her way up — often harder than any man around her. But somewhere along the way, she lost access to surrender. Now she wants to reconnect with a different part of herself — something less controlled, more intuitive, more alive.
Lena
“Every session with Andy is like opening a mysterious box of secrets – secrets that are deeply hidden under numerous layers of external garbage that I tend to call ‘self’. I never know what I’ll find inside. I come with some messy armful of things…”
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Every session with Andy is like opening a mysterious box of secrets – secrets that are deeply hidden under numerous layers of external garbage that I tend to call “self”. I never know what I’ll find inside. I come with some messy armful of the things that bother my mind and hurt my soul, and Andy, being a highly intuitive person and knowledgeable master, can perfectly read and unfold my needs to create a unique experience through building a dialogue with my body which effectively leads me to unblocking a communication channel with that beyond-verbal, subpersonal (or even transpersonal) core that knows all the answers. For me, it’s a lot similar to a journey, and Andy is an excellent guide driving all that machinery to the unknown lands of the subconscious, making a trip safe and surrounded with care and unconditional love. I’m so much grateful to Andy for all the treasures I brought back from my journeys, for being such a sensitive, empathic and sharing person, and for building a trusting and sensual space where I can feel safe to let myself expose my vulnerability and learn about what level of freedom it can give; for relaxing tea conversations, for understanding and guiding, for creation of multi-dimensional playgrounds, for showing the beauty of universal dance of giving and receiving, power and surrender, will and matter.
What they all share is a longing for a space that is safe enough to be brave — where they can focus on themselves without everything carrying real-world consequences.
By paying me, the container is clearly defined. That clarity is what makes the work possible. In that sense, it is a therapeutic relationship. It also means I don’t relate to clients privately afterwards — because what they know is not me as a private person, but me within that container.
Seventy-five percent of my clients are women, twenty percent are couples, and five percent are men. Each year, one or two clients choose to enter the Tokyo Intensive. Others continue working with me through retreats.
And occasionally, I’m given as a birthday present, as inspiration for an art project, or even as a prize at a bachelorette party. Unusual, perhaps — but still welcome.
What is next my dear unknown friend?
“Andy is a real master in an old school way; He doesn’t always give you what you think you want, but often what you may actually need. Sometimes by generously sharing his vast experience, sometimes by withholding, frustrating, and turning the perspectives.“
“I feel owned and overwhelmed by the feeling of quiet devotion to the figure of the dominant. Being initiated to the submission training at the hands of a master and artist like Andy Buru is itself a symbolic ritual very revealing of my own mysteries and hidden desires.”
The Tokyo Intensive
What happens after all the workshops, retreats, and festivals — when you want something deeper, more personal, and more sustained?
Once a year, from early January to the end of March, I’m in Tokyo. And I have time to offer you something extraordinary. Reserved for only one or two people each year — I’ll take you under my wing and guide you through a two-week peak experience.
This is a serious commitment, requiring both dedicated time and a financial investment starting from €10,000 — otherwise it’s not worth the effort. In return, we will do ten half-day sessions exploring my approach to sadomasochism and the esoteric eros.
There is no fixed curriculum — each session unfolds exactly where we are called. You may dive into dominance, explore submission, be dominated by me and then take that experience to dominate someone else under my watchful eye. You might come with a partner and focus on that dynamic, or I can help you connect with a handful of people to practise with. Everything depends on which aspects of my work with sadomasochism and esoteric eroticism call to you — perhaps you already know, perhaps you’ll discover them as we go.
The emphasis is on lived experience, not instruction. Our work can take place in different settings — one of Tokyo’s legendary love hotels, or the privacy of your own apartment or hotel. Occasionally, we may step into Tokyo’s underbelly of decadent desires — a rare fetish maniac party, an old-school SM bar, a trendy shibari performance. It can be thrilling, but I recommend staying mostly within our experience. It will be deeper, more intense, and far more intimate than any public play space. But you know… when in Tokyo.
For comparison: in my dedicated private play relationships, I do five to ten sessions per year with a partner — and we have a profound impact on each other’s lives. You’ll do ten sessions in two weeks. I dare to promise you: it will change you forever.
Between sessions, Tokyo becomes part of the process. Long conversations in quiet Meiji-era cafés, walks through mossy Japanese gardens, late evenings in tucked-away izakayas. We’ll explore how to shape your personal relationship to power — in play, as a dominatrix, a submissive, or something more fluid and undefined, and in ordinary life — in business, family, or friendships. As above, as below.
You’ll receive daily ritualised tasks designed to anchor the intimacy of power into your body, mind and soul, as well as reading recommendations and wider cultural references to refine your taste in the realms of eros — something you can return to, and a framework for navigating long-term power dynamics across different relationships.
I’ll also open the door to my non-kinky Tokyo: tea and flower ceremonies, hidden and exclusive — or bizarre and unexpected — food experiences, trashy sake drinking with the locals or sipping cocktails in chic bars, wandering vintage fashion streets or artisan workshops, and the quieter pleasures of the city. And because this intensity can be demanding, I’ll also make sure you soak and reset in the best bathhouses and saunas, ensuring you’re prepared to absorb everything we’ve explored.
One key I want to share with you is this: every power dynamic is unique. Understanding how these dynamics evolve — whether over spontaneous cocktails in a buzzing airport bar or through a carefully crafted letter of invitation to someone you’ve always loved — is essential.
To become a connoisseur of power is to master the art of inviting others into your world—playful and audacious. And when you do, you’ll leave them in awe.
This is for those ready to go further. Prior experience with my work is required.
Investment: the base price covers the ten half-day sessions, ritualised tasks, and in-between conversations — around 60 hours in total. The final price depends on how much you want me to organise beyond that — accommodations, session locations, meals, excursions, additional experiences, and how many days you want to spread the immersion across.
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Valentina’s Journal
“Basically, most of us will get turned on at night by the very same things that we will demonstrate against during the day.“
– Esther Perel, the secret to desire in a long-term relationship
There is so much judgment and fear around women’s desire — especially in relation to power. Whether it’s submission or dominance. A submissive woman is often judged as brainwashed by the patriarchy. A dominant woman might be worshipped as a fetish idol, but when it comes to real leadership, many men are unsettled.
I write “women” here because most of my clients in these initiations are women. But I’m open to working with any gender or sex. That said, I firmly believe in starting from the bottom. Anyone who claims they have never submitted or surrendered to anyone makes me uneasy. I spent a year as a 24/7 slave in Montreal in my mid-twenties.
People say women don’t pay for sex. I think that’s largely true — because they don’t have to. In a heteronormative world shaped by pornography and prostitution, men are the ones who pay for access to desire. But as women step into the same positions of power, they can fall into similar imbalances — prioritising control over surrender. It’s not surprising that they begin to long for release, and have the financial means to create it. But they are not buying sex. They are investing in intimacy, in adventure, in eros.
Sadomasochism is often misrepresented in a carnivalesque way. You might have seen Bonding (2019), with its inflatable penguin suits and playful humiliation. Or the familiar trope of the emotionally absent, controlling billionaire and the unstable young girl — repeated in Fifty Shades of Grey (2011) and Secretary (2002). Or the extremes shown in the Swedish series Outsiders — bodies pushed to limits in the name of transcendence or spectacle.
I believe in the idea that your kink is not my kink, but your kink is okay. And yes — some people are drawn to the outer edges of sadomasochism and esoteric eroticism. I’m one of them.
But my clients are not outsiders. They are insiders.
They are not chasing the peak of a short-term desire. They are interested in understanding their eros. They want to know who to choose as a lover — and more importantly, as a long-term partner. They want to understand how to move between submission and power. How to surrender in the bedroom while holding authority in the rest of their lives — as mothers, leaders, partners, and, at times, the ones holding everything together.
This is the paradox. And it fascinates me.
The initiation for the submissive is my response — a philosophical, embodied, and deliberately elegant approach. Let me guide your body, mind, and heart into submission and surrender in a way that is safe enough to be brave — so you can consciously choose the power dynamics you want to inhabit, without shame or fear.
These initiations are deeply personal, and many prefer to keep them private. But when Valentina began her journey in the autumn of 2021, she chose to share it. What follows is her story, and her recorded journal.
15 September 2021:
My First Ritual
Listen to the whole entry:
“I arrived promptly at his studio at 10 am. I felt at ease because, in addition to the friendly posture of the host, there was a fascination to the place—a mystical atmosphere. The focus of the session would be to learn how to get in and how to get out of the eroticised game as a submissive—exercising the signs, postures, looks and gestures that are appreciated by the dominant. Being trained to trust, to obey, to surrender. There is a mystery in the way Andy conducts the sessions. Each gesture is so perfect and precise that it’s sometimes hard to believe that the scene unfolding is part of reality. How can he read my fantasies and guide me without hesitation? The balance between knowing exactly how to dominate and discipline while loving and caring for whoever is submitting to it is an art.“
5 October 2021:
Pleasure in PAIN
Listen to the whole entry:
“He put me on all fours. Hips up. When he pulls my hair, I like it. And I like it a lot. I love this position. My face almost on the floor. My ass up high. Feeling the vintage measurement cane in his hand. First, caressing, then squeezing my thigh until the moan comes. Softly. I’m shy. I have some difficulty expressing what turns me on. But I realized that I could stay there for a long time. I received the first thrusts that were bearable, this light pleasure in the pain, but then the hits became more intense, and my body reacted by pulling away. Andy whispered that this was the lesson. He could read what drew me closer and further away from pleasure and pain. He said good girl again.”
2 November 2021:
Overcoming Fear
Listen to the whole entry:
“Having my consent, he hooded me and hugged me from behind. Holding my chest, breathing along. I was so scared, and I said: Andy, I’m not going to make it, I’m afraid. I was afraid of passing out. Unable to see and with a hood over my head, I felt more vulnerable than I could tolerate. I couldn’t see, hear or breathe fluently. I was being deprived of three senses at once. I felt my body soften by fear, fear of death. Andy hugged me again and breathed together. He slowly explained to me how I could breathe calmly, that he was there with me, but of course, he would take the hood off if I needed to. But that he could guide me first without haste to breathe in there and trust him. I trusted him, and I was breathing with his hands in mine. With the synchronicity of the breath, the fear was alleviated, and I was not despairing anymore. Andy checked if he could continue, and I said yes. His security and mastery are very exciting.”
Book a Session
Since 2024, I’ve been constantly travelling. As a result, I place less focus on single sessions — unless you find me while I’m already teaching in your city, or when I’m in Stockholm or Berlin for rest and recovery. You can find my travel schedule here.
Please take a moment to consider why you are booking a session with me. The therapeutic relationship is sacred. Once you have paid for a session, I will not engage with you privately. If you are curious about me as a private person, want me to teach in your local community, or simply want to flirt, please contact me here instead.
Before booking, read the fine print below — including the pricing table, liability agreement, and rescheduling and cancellation policy.
Frequently Asked Questions
Where do the sessions take place?
In my home-studio in Stockholm, Sweden. I’ll travel at an extra cost.
What do I wear?
Some like to feel the rope on their naked skin, while others want to be more comfortable in yoga-style clothing. It’s essential to avoid wearing a bra with metal trim in the cups, as the metal may be pushed into the ribs, causing nausea and bad pain. Of course, your genitals will always be covered.
Clothes also can be used to amplify the intention of a session. I have an extensive collection of Japanese kimonos that you may be dressed in. Many traditional Japanese bondage narratives incorporate ritualistic undressing as a symbolic gesture of exposing vulnerability. Sometimes, several layers of vintage silk, tabi socks, and susoyoke undergarments are selected to be removed piece by piece while the rope is wrapped around the body.
Can I bring a friend or partner?
Yes, totally. Having a witness present can be an empowering experience. Just make sure that you beforehand talk about their role during the session. Will they be scrolling the internet in another room, watching us from the sofa in the distance, or joining us on the mat? It is all up to you to decide.
If you want me to tie up your partner, ensure you have their consent beforehand. Or that you know them very well if you aim to make it a surprise.
Will I hang in the air?
The Japanese rope bondage pictures on social media often display bodies hanging midair in contorted postures. Some of my clients long for that experience, while others fear it. The pictures show the edge play of rope bondage, and to achieve it reasonably safely requires either careful step-by-step coaching of the one bound or years of experience challenging the body. Many people have experience pushing their bodies through endurance, like running a marathon. However, fewer have the experience of letting go into surrender under extreme conditions while still caring for their well-being.
I often half-suspend the bodies with most of the weight still on the floor. It’s usually enough to feel the pressure of gravity, the contortion of the body and loss of control from being postured in a specific position while remaining safe enough to focus on the felt experience of intimacy. At the rare times when a client explicitly requests a full suspension, I’m open to making a dedicated session about that, even in combination with photography, as the desire often seeds from social media pictures. I can also offer being fully suspended in a custom-made leather bag that brings the same experience of gravity and loss of control while being much safer and sustainable.
How is it therapeutic?
I’m a big fan of Judith Lewis Herman’s therapeutic three-level model developed for the aftermath of trauma. Firstly, get safe to avoid being re-traumatized. Secondly, re-tune the nervous system, and finally, re-integrate into society. My work is in the second half of that model, teaching my client’s body to trust in intimacy again. Peter A. Levine also inspires me in believing that the body knows how to restore balance and goodness when given the right circumstances.
Does it hurt?
What is painful or not is very personal. No one can ever feel another’s pain; we can only imagine it. However, I see no meaning in pushing my clients to endure. There is already plenty of forced opportunities to practice endurance. I offer the opposite when I offer surrender. And once a client surrender, their relationship to pain tends to change.
Is it dangerous?
I’ve caused severe nerve compression thrice in twenty years while tying a couple of hundred times yearly. And then it happened during something extraordinarily harsh and not in therapeutic sessions. From what I’ve read over the years, it almost always eventually heals back completely by itself. So it feels safe enough for me to offer rope bondage to strangers in exchange for money.
The most significant danger is nerve compression from too much pressure digging into an unlucky spot. The arms’ radial nerve is the most vulnerable and likely to be exposed, which means, in case of an accident, being unable to use the thumb for a couple hours (in mild cases) or up to three months (in severe cases). So let’s avoid that.
In the session, I teach my clients how to check their nerve functionality. And help them remember to do so. It’s an essential step in learning to balance between letting go of control into surrender while maintaining some responsibility for one’s well-being. Even if the risk of something happening is minimal, taking responsibility for one’s experience is empowering.
Can I feel you?
This is a multifaceted question. You may feel the ropes on your body. You may also feel that I’m doing this to you. And you may feel arousal from the situation. You may also touch me back if your hands are unrestricted, but I’ll always be fully dressed. Somewhere here, the line is drawn, and I’ll always take full responsibility for communicating if you are approaching it and not allowing you to cross it.
What if I panic?
If it happens, I’ll cut the ropes. But it has never happened yet during more than ten years of doing paid sessions. In general, I have a gentle approach to my therapeutic work.
Do you include activity XYZ?
The base of my work is almost always two different aspects of Japanese rope bondage; the sensation of being restricted and the relational dynamic of playing with power. I’ll also touch, move and manipulate my client’s body using my own body, which may revibrate in some emotional or energical aspects. On top of that, I may include some tools and techniques from sadomasochism and esoteric eroticism, like blindfolds, clamps, whips, wax, drums, feathers, fur, trigger points, massage, breath work etc. But I’ll always ask before the session starts if my intuition pulls me in any particular direction.
If you have any particular requests, you can also let me know.
What about feminism?
Some people argue that no woman can consciously volunteer for degrading and violent sex, and any man performing such acts is an abuser. Furthermore, any documentation of such sexuality is pornographic and teaches other men to rape women. However, many people still have such taboo desires. Telling women to repress their passion only replaces one non-consensual power hierarchy with another. And the repression will manifest the same behaviour unconsciously in another aspect of life.
So I believe that the most empowering action is to befriend the demons, so to speak. Either it will discharge the attraction or form a healthy relationship with it. Owning one’s own eros is the opposite of pornographic because the session aims to please the owner, not some anonymous paying audience across the internet. So yes, I think it’s an fucking extraordinary feministic manifestation to be tied up.
⤬ Pricing Table
Single session
4800 SEK
I sometimes offer heavy discounts to clients with limited financial means—if your story interests me, I’ll do my best to work with you.
⤬ Liability Agreement
To have a safer session, I understand that it is my responsibility to.
Before the session, state my boundaries, emotional and physical needs, and relevant traumatic experiences related to power, control and sexuality. And explain my ability to communicate during a session.
During the session, monitor my emotional and physical well-being and verbalize if a change is needed. Andy might be good at reading body language, but he is a horrible mind-reader.
After the session, if you realize that you had an unwanted experience or couldn’t communicate during the session, give this feedback to Andy as soon as possible.
If you want to remain anonymous, you can do it through one of these contacts. They all have an understanding of Andy’s work and a long experience working with similar modalities; Carl-Johan Rehbinder, Linda Örtengren and Lin Holmquist.
Finally, remain aware that bondage, sadomasochism and esoteric eroticism can be dangerous activities. Both physically and emotionally. And even if Andy is a professional with many years of experience, the client is ultimately responsible for their experience.
If you want to know more about the risks involved, you read the following writings; Power, abuse and therapy, When does BDSM become destructive? and Playing safer.
⤬ Rescheduling and Cancellation Policy
You can cancel your session for free until two weeks before the appointment; after that, there is a cancellation fee of 2400 SEK. You can reschedule for free until two days before the appointment; after that, there is a rescheduling fee of 2400 SEK. If you fail to show up without prior notice, you will be charged price for the full session.