Where do the sessions take place?

In my home-studio in Stockholm, Sweden. I’ll travel at an extra cost.

What do I wear?

Some like to feel the rope on their naked skin, while others want to be more comfortable in yoga-style clothing. It’s essential to avoid wearing a bra with metal trim in the cups, as the metal may be pushed into the ribs, causing nausea and bad pain. Of course, your genitals will always be covered.

Clothes also can be used to amplify the intention of a session. I have an extensive collection of Japanese kimonos that you may be dressed in. Many traditional Japanese bondage narratives incorporate ritualistic undressing as a symbolic gesture of exposing vulnerability. Sometimes, several layers of vintage silk, tabi socks, and susoyoke undergarments are selected to be removed piece by piece while the rope is wrapped around the body.

Can I bring a friend or partner?

Yes, totally. Having a witness present can be an empowering experience. Just make sure that you beforehand talk about their role during the session. Will they be scrolling the internet in another room, watching us from the sofa in the distance, or joining us on the mat? It is all up to you to decide.

If you want me to tie up your partner, ensure you have their consent beforehand. Or that you know them very well if you aim to make it a surprise.

Will I hang in the air?

The Japanese rope bondage pictures on social media often display bodies hanging midair in contorted postures. Some of my clients long for that experience, while others fear it. The pictures show the edge play of rope bondage, and to achieve it reasonably safely requires either careful step-by-step coaching of the one bound or years of experience challenging the body. Many people have experience pushing their bodies through endurance, like running a marathon. However, fewer have the experience of letting go into surrender under extreme conditions while still caring for their well-being.

I often half-suspend the bodies with most of the weight still on the floor. It’s usually enough to feel the pressure of gravity, the contortion of the body and loss of control from being postured in a specific position while remaining safe enough to focus on the felt experience of intimacy. At the rare times when a client explicitly requests a full suspension, I’m open to making a dedicated session about that, even in combination with photography, as the desire often seeds from social media pictures. I can also offer being fully suspended in a custom-made leather bag that brings the same experience of gravity and loss of control while being much safer and sustainable.

How is it therapeutic?

I’m a big fan of Judith Lewis Herman’s therapeutic three-level model developed for the aftermath of trauma. Firstly, get safe to avoid being re-traumatized. Secondly, re-tune the nervous system, and finally, re-integrate into society. My work is in the second half of that model, teaching my client’s body to trust in intimacy again. Peter A. Levine also inspires me in believing that the body knows how to restore balance and goodness when given the right circumstances.

Does it hurt?

What is painful or not is very personal. No one can ever feel another’s pain; we can only imagine it. However, I see no meaning in pushing my clients to endure. There is already plenty of forced opportunities to practice endurance. I offer the opposite when I offer surrender. And once a client surrender, their relationship to pain tends to change.

Is it dangerous?

I’ve caused severe nerve compression thrice in twenty years while tying a couple of hundred times yearly. And then it happened during something extraordinarily harsh and not in therapeutic sessions. From what I’ve read over the years, it almost always eventually heals back completely by itself. So it feels safe enough for me to offer rope bondage to strangers in exchange for money.

The most significant danger is nerve compression from too much pressure digging into an unlucky spot. The arms’ radial nerve is the most vulnerable and likely to be exposed, which means, in case of an accident, being unable to use the thumb for a couple hours (in mild cases) or up to three months (in severe cases). So let’s avoid that.

In the session, I teach my clients how to check their nerve functionality. And help them remember to do so. It’s an essential step in learning to balance between letting go of control into surrender while maintaining some responsibility for one’s well-being. Even if the risk of something happening is minimal, taking responsibility for one’s experience is empowering.

Can I feel you?

This is a multifaceted question. You may feel the ropes on your body. You may also feel that I’m doing this to you. And you may feel arousal from the situation. You may also touch me back if your hands are unrestricted, but I’ll always be fully dressed. Somewhere here, the line is drawn, and I’ll always take full responsibility for communicating if you are approaching it and not allowing you to cross it.

What if I panic?

If it happens, I’ll cut the ropes. But it has never happened yet during more than ten years of doing paid sessions. In general, I have a gentle approach to my therapeutic work.

Do you include activity XYZ?

The base of my work is almost always two different aspects of Japanese rope bondage; the sensation of being restricted and the relational dynamic of playing with power. I’ll also touch, move and manipulate my client’s body using my own body, which may revibrate in some emotional or energical aspects. On top of that, I may include some tools and techniques from sadomasochism and esoteric eroticism, like blindfolds, clamps, whips, wax, drums, feathers, fur, trigger points, massage, breath work etc. But I’ll always ask before the session starts if my intuition pulls me in any particular direction.

If you have any particular requests, you can also let me know.

What about feminism?

Some people argue that no woman can consciously volunteer for degrading and violent sex, and any man performing such acts is an abuser. Furthermore, any documentation of such sexuality is pornographic and teaches other men to rape women. However, many people still have such taboo desires. Telling women to repress their passion only replaces one non-consensual power hierarchy with another. And the repression will manifest the same behaviour unconsciously in another aspect of life.

So I believe that the most empowering action is to befriend the demons, so to speak. Either it will discharge the attraction or form a healthy relationship with it. Owning one’s own eros is the opposite of pornographic because the session aims to please the owner, not some anonymous paying audience across the internet. So yes, I think it’s an fucking extraordinary feministic manifestation to be tied up.