And then I run through life, carrying this. And that is what trauma is. It is not a thought. It’s a reaction that keeps repeating.
People ravish each other, people give love to each other. There is a lot of beauty and violence at once. There is immense love and trust.
Then, a profound moment of quietness. An infinite second of certainty. It is going to be me. It is my turn. Now, it is my turn, and there is nothing I can do.
Trembling with so much pleasure. His pleasure is almost a form of sweet hallucination. Hot and aromatic like an oriental tea. Learning how to please by not rushing. Just being.
And I told him, you bring out the worst of human beings in the most beautiful way.
Trembling with so much pleasure. His pleasure is almost a form of sweet hallucination. Hot and aromatic like an oriental tea. Learning how to please by not rushing. Just being.
And I told him, you bring out the worst of human beings in the most beautiful way.
I create magical worlds.
And I want you to be a part of them.
I want you to learn from them.
My mediums are many.
I write
curate
craft
do
I work deeply and intimately, one-on-one with handpicked clients.
This is a full-time passion.
Riding the demons that once hunted.
It’s the only thing I do.
My basic subject is the intimacy of power.
In all its shapes and forms.
Some would call me a dom.
A connoisseur of the esoteric eros.
An expert in conscious and consensual sadomasochism.
Who I am to you is for you to discover.
⦺
But Andy what does it mean?
It means that I move between art and therapy. In the arts, I venture for the maximum risk I can afford in the present to challenge the status quo. Therapy is the opposite by being the safest possible road leading to things known to restore balance and goodness. Both require a special kind of bravery. Many of my clients have experienced abuse of power, often sexually or socially, resulting in an ever-controlling attitude towards life with no room for surrender. They often feel simultaneously ashamed and attracted to their desires. While I don’t believe in cathartic releases, I rather offer slowly befriending a new, more functional and exciting reality.
At the most basic level, I work with bodies. In the present moment. Inviting them to participate in a new experience that may transcend into the spiritual. My modalities include conscious and consensual sadomasochism, esoteric eroticism, Japanese rope bondage, European theatre studies, medical massage therapy, and neuro-somatic teamwork, each representing an important period of my life. But most importantly, I believe in dedication to ‘the way’. The way of being. In Japanese, it is dō. Over the years, I’ve studied sado, the way of tea; kado, the way of flowers; and aikido, the way of directing energy while in motion. It’s the same way walked in the many Eastern mystery schools. But don’t worry, my dear unknown friend, it’s fundamentally ritual and practical, and you probably won’t notice unless you want to.
I left my ordinary career about ten years ago to walk a simpler life. Now I travel based on an agenda curated by a handful of lovely retreat organisers around Europe and a demanding make-believe family in the Japanese countryside. In between travels, I’m available for sessions and initiations in Stockholm and Berlin. I avoid working online, so please don’t ask unless you intend to see my face. Currently, my face can be found on the following occasions in the order of occurrence.
CONTACT
FOLLOW
SUBSCRIBE
January, February and March
THE Tōkyō INTENSIVE
Once a year, from early January to the end of March, I’m in Tokyo. And I have time to offer you something extraordinary. Reserved for only one or two people each year — I’ll take you under my wing and guide you through a two-week peak experience.
Book / Podcast
Rituals and
Paradoxes
This book and podcast is an adult-rated linear but non-chronological odyssey into my research of sadomasochism and esoteric eroticism from the past up until today.
It took forever, but my book is finally available—either as a printed paperback or a downloadable PDF. Watch the trailer on the left!
Dear unknown friend, to access the adult-rated material you must create a free account and log in. This is due to social media and their algorithms. Sorry for the inconvenience.
FIRST PARADOX
BEING AND DOING
SECOND PARADOX
SELF-SACRIFICE
AND SELFISHNESS
THIRD PARADOX
SELFISHNESS AND
HOLDING SPACE
FOURTH PARADOX
UNITY AND POLARITY
FIFTH PARADOX
SYMBOLS AND REALITY
FIRST RITUAL
SUBMISSION
SECOND RITUAL
DEVOTION
THIRD RITUAL
REJECTION
FOURTH RITUAL
DESIRE
FIFTH RITUAL
DEATH
“M”
Rituals and paradoxes- the intimacy of belonging in sadomasochism and esoteric eroticism by Andy Buru.
“Take my hand, follow me, be not scared, I got you”
“You do not need another guru, do not follow the man with a beard”- the words echoe in my mind when I start reading “Ritual and paradoxes- the intimacy of belonging in sadomasochism and esoteric eroticism” by Andy Buru, professional Japanese rope bondage practionner/teacher: besides almost being named guru, he indubitably takes a position of authority by publishing himself, and considering the subject matter and that I do in fact have some first hand experience of Andy (double-entendre intended) – should I not be a bit scared and keep distance?
Drawing from his extensive experience as teacher, body worker and personal life, Andy approaches the subject through a set of paradoxes that are defining sadomasochism, or “eroticization of pain and power”. These paradoxes create polarities which sadomasochism explores through careful and compassionate play with the inherent tensions that varies between individuals and the power dynamics of ”dominant/submissive”. The resulting book, a solid block of nearly 500 pages, reaches however far beyond an introduction into bdsm, a guidebook, or a collection of personal reflections.
Instead, the aim is to bring attention on esoteric qualities of sadomasochism, as in the ritualization of sexuality towards enlightenment or union with God/Divine. Sadomasochism, with its inherent polarities, has according to the author a high potentiality to address deeper needs usually associated with spirituality, such as belonging, submission, self-sacrifice, and devotion, which according to the narrative are not promoted in our pleasure-seeking western societies (“joy joy lala land”) that mostly focus on achievement and selfishness, on “doing”. The sadomasochism that Andy presents and cultivates provide thus as a contrast a safe playground to discover or further dive into meaningful and transformational states of being.
So what am I holding in my hands? First of all I cannot hinder to be seduced by the format and structure. After all, the presentation is significant when your topic is rituals, and the writing project in itself is introduced as mystic for the author: a compact volume beautifully segmented all in black and white by the paradoxes that define sadomasochism, visually chaptering the thought in numbered lemmas/verses, accompanying poetic lines followed by a clear, straightforward prose, occasionally punctuated by Andy Buru’s warm humour, at the rhythm of sneak peaks into his very intimate (at times thick and sick) diary. Abstract concepts are both cleverly illustrated and made tangible through illustrations and a selection of tastefully curated photographies taken by the author himself during his sessions, seducing with their raw beauty and display authentic vulnerability.
“Rituals and Paradoxes” is a companion to anyone’s own paths of self-/collective exploration- practical or intellectual. Andy Buru acts as a Virgilius, not taking down seven levels of hell as one might associate sadomasochism to, but truly accompanying the reader on a journey. His written edifice is a temple where the dark meanders of eros find light and love, in which the paradoxes are pillars and a room for rituals are formed/performed, and where the self is absorbed in the community. Pushing the comparison further, one might find that the fragments of experience that Andy Buru shares, at moment heavy and intense as incense, are counterparts of the vibrant paintings hanging in the side-choirs of a baroque church. (The dramatic lives of saints and martyrs, full of suffering and self-sacrifice, are after all early tangents to the world of bdsm).
The Reading of “Rituals and Paradoxes” could be an invitation into a sacred place with many shrines and as such be decisive or it may stay at the level of a mere tour, an exotic sight-seeing of deviancy and perversion, depending on maturity and receptiveness of the reader. One anecdote from the book (or should I qualify it as a votive picture in adoration for the Japanese culture and to which the author is so indebted?) may provide some evidence of the author’s expectations on the reader: a flower arrangement school in Japan, where everyone gets the degree, but you would, by paying proper attention, be aware of if you actually got to the deeper sense or not.
I think that the strength of the book comes from this sensible approach, where the mystery, despite being unfold for us and made available in words, by the end of the day needs to be “felt” as well, or to paraphrase the first paradox, “to be”. Regardless of your previous experience in bdsm or more generally within sex, or your degree of self-knowledge, the book has nonetheless something essential to offer as an invitation to discover or further explore the vast inner universe that is yourself and your sexuality, but also, by making you sensible to the esoteric dimensions involved in bdsm and thus to elevate your practice to a profoundly metaphysical act.
Yes, Andy, maybe I will take your hand, and follow you, I am not scared, you got me.
Yesterdays News
GRAPEVINE
TALKS
Relational skills in rituals
On isolation
Trust is more important than consent
On Obedience
Lonely, Alone or together
Selling photography prints
Who is Andy 2026?
Playlist of the year 2025
The Intimate Life of Andy in 2025
