I have to admit that drooling, hypersalivation, and ptyalism (a condition of creating too much saliva) fascinate me. It is probably my second biggest kink after rope bondage, and let me try to digest why. Drooling is ultimately losing control of real bodily functions, appearance, and symbolic social status. Animals, just like Pavlov’s dogs, drool before feeding, and so do infants before they learn to control themselves and adhere to our social norms of cleanliness. Residues leaving the body don’t belong in the public realm. Urine, faecal matter, and menstrual blood belong in the lavatories, while barfing, farting, sneezing, and crying are expected to be discreet. Salivation is on the borderline in between. Losing control is a degradation into something more animalistic that takes us one step further away from the order and cleanliness of civilizations and gods. In a sadomasochistic play, salivation can signify both surrendering to the present moment and submission to a dominant’s desire—allowing oneself to lose part of their humanity.
Drooling and spitting are very different. Spitting is an aggressive and active decision. Culturally it’s seen as an act of rebellion and an attempt to dominate. The sympathetic nervous system rules when stressed or unsafe, so the mouth goes dry, and muscular contraction is needed to force salvation. On the opposite end of the spectrum, drooling belongs to the parasympathetic nervous system, which activates when we are relaxed and ready to receive pleasure through feeding or sexual interaction. Drooling is all about letting go and surrendering to the situation. It reflects an inhibition of action by not swallowing or restricting the saliva. It is being, not doing and having our desires explicitly shown, just like Palov’s dogs. Being an adult is all about controlling our appetite for pleasure so we can focus on being productive instead. When provoked, we can spit at something, actually or metaphorically. But when we let go, we drool.
One can be forced to drool by restricting the ability to swallow. Ball gags, tongue clamps, and dentist spreaders are popular toys in a sadomasochistic collection. But drooling can also come from submission by being instructed to keep the mouth open and not swallow. It may be more challenging than it sounds when eventually, the jaw muscles start to ache as saliva accumulates under the tongue.Every primal instinct urges us to swallow when submitting to being witnessed as a drooling animal. This transformation is ritualistic, as drooling starts slowly, almost unnoticeably. At first, the mouth becomes moist as salivation lubricates the lips and tongue. And soon, the first forbidden drop hangs agonisingly on the lower lip; where and when will it drip out?
Presenting Our Face
The face is the crown of our humanity; it expresses our emotions and allows our speech to be heard. It forms our relationship with the surrounding world. When the face ‘loses face’ by beginning to drool, we quickly regress to something less civil, predating language. Losing this control is often connected to feelings of shame and taboo, therefore, to be seen and loved in that can be deeply healing. The constant battle to maintain the walls of propriety is suddenly obsolete. It is not won or lost; it’s simply not relevant anymore.
The source, our salivary glands, belong to the body’s lubrication system. It is symbolic of preparing to receive, to be penetrated, and to take the outside world inside ourselves. To surrender and let go. Therefore salivation can be both erotic and therefore also forbidden. It fascinates me that the salivary gland’s activation could be seen as the first tiny step towards making love. ‘Having an appetite for someone’ and ‘drooling all over them’.
The polyvagal theory, which has received wide attention in only the last decade, speaks about a large branch of nerves which connect most of our viscera to our brains, providing information and feedback in both directions. It helps to coordinate our internal organs with action appropriate to the situations we find ourselves in. This system of communication also has a large emotional component. We have all experienced a huge release from passionate sobbing, where all sorts of bodily fluids come rushing out: tears, saliva, snot, sweat.
Emotions experienced during sadomasochistic play can also activate such strong releases. Specifically in rope bondage, an emotional release can be triggered by applying physical tension to the body. The body releases emotions, and the emotions in turn release tension from the body. The flowing liquids can be seen as a symbol of both cleansing (like the spring floods which wash away accumulated sediment) and the mysterious unknown.
It amazes me how a clamp on a tongue can trigger this escalating chain of events. For those willing to risk stepping into something more ancient and primal, willing to lose face in front of their partner, why not try, during a bondage session, using a simple clothespin placed on the tongue. You might be surprised by where you or your partner ends up.
