If the purpose of a ritual is to act as an inherited compass to sail into the subconscious. Just like tea is the content of a tea ceremony, then sadomasochism is the content of a sadomasochistic ritual. And therefore the ship we sail upon.
The reason for these journeys can be broken down into three different categories: celebration, magick and alchemy; these mix and overlap. Having a kinky wedding dressed in fabulous latex gear in addition to the traditional gathering of friends and family in the church is a typical celebration ritual. Or gathering a group of intimate friends to realise the most deviant fantasy as a birthday gift is another. Or celebrating the first anniversary of becoming master and slave instead of boyfriend and girlfriend. The goal of the celebration is fun. These are the least magical celebrations in an esoteric sense of the word.
In esoteric eroticism, the word sex magick means transforming something outside oneself using the power of eros. If meditation is observing what is, then magick is changing it. Magick works with the explicit intention of how something should become in future. It can take the shape of an inquiry session or a shared prayer. I once heard an orthodox Christian priest say, “Praying is not asking; praying is knowing”. Prayer then can be a symbol for change that is willed to happen. There is great wisdom in that. Imagine the cliché image of a satanic sex magick ritual, drawing a sigil in freshly drawn blood on the chest, fucking on the full (red) moon, and finally spraying semen all over as a symbol of life. All this while wearing sawed-off goat heads. This is half-joking, half-serious. The idea is creating a clear intention with symbolism you believe in and then, at the point of an ecstatic orgasm, visualising how it sinks into the subconscious or expands into the divine.
The ultimate purpose is the alchemy of transformation, which is to become something else right here and now. The word ‘transformation’ might sound grand, but in my experience, it’s deceivingly simple. Simple as it may be, it carries great importance.
This happens every time I tie the first rope. The alchemy might be internal, like the embracing of another self. In my everyday relationships, I tend to strive for equality whereas in sadomasochistic play, I strive for polarity instead. I strive for a union with something greater, call it what you will, God or Divine perhaps. The power of transformation can be accessed, depending on the way one defines this for themselves, inside of oneself, in another person or in nature, the universe or in the supernatural. There is an element of trust or belief that performing these acts repeatedly will be transformational. This isn’t something to prove scientifically; it’s a belief I decide to invest in.
The key distinction between a ritual and a social sadomasochistic gathering is that the former allows me to fulfil my personal yearnings. While at a social event, I interact with people I already know and potentially meet new and intriguing individuals. We might explore our fantasies in words but the purpose is never to act them out. In contrast, a ritual enables me to openly embody my true desires in the most concrete way. Hippies might refer to this as manifesting my reality; others call it sex magick.
When I approach my sadomasochistic play as a ritual, I am dedicated to honouring the fact that I have inherited a structure and am tasked with handling it with care. It is my path to follow, to rebel and to master. Shu-ha-ri. And to share this generously with those who deserve it. To imbue these acts with ceremonial significance. This is the way to artistry.
