Numbers play an important role in the ritual of death. Each participant must be assigned one and I’ll explain more later how they will be used. As entering the ritual space is a formal stage of its own, I hand out the numbers beforehand, either when people are waiting to enter or at a morning gathering. By the time people enter the ritual, they have their number with them. I’ve even tried to send them out ahead of time in sealed envelopes. It’s essential not to spoil what the numbers will be used for, so instead, I give a vague description like “Remember this number as if your life depended on it.” and “Make sure that you bring this to the ritual tonight.”. At the same time, I tell the participants that they will need to always carry around anything they bring to the ritual (clothes, water bottles, bags), so as to avoid unnecessary stuff.

The minimum number of participants is somewhere around twenty. When there are fewer than a hundred participants, I will have pre-prepared a few extra numbers, just to be on the safe side, in case extra people arrive at the last minute (in which case they receive their numbers before entering the ritual space). For example, if 45 numbers had already been distributed, I will prepare an extra, say, five numbers (ready to be distributed at the last moment if needed) and mark down 50 numbers on my personal list. When I know that there will be more than a hundred participants, I will have made two sets of numbers up to one hundred and distributed those sets. This is because I know that I cannot, for example, have enough time to read out 200 numbers in two hours. This way, sometimes it happens that two persons will have the same number and leave at the same time, and also sometimes a number is called which no one has. Each time I call out a number, I cross it off on my god-master list.

Entering is the transmutation from one world to another. I allow people to enter one by one and, as in meditation, follow the spiralling mattresses towards the altar in the middle. I instruct them to walk slowly with awareness of how their balance shifts from foot to foot. Ignore the people around you, I remind them. Once the first person reaches the altar in the middle, they sit down, and the next person sits beside them. This keeps going until the entire space is filled with people. Hopefully, all participants will fit sitting in a spiral formation, but if they don’t, I allow for the rest to spread out in the room.

This stage brings the symbolism of the spiral to life with human flesh. Life spiralling towards an end point. As the ritual is slow and wordless, the goal of this stage is to aid the participants to slow down, ground themselves, shut up and submit to the overall choreography. Anyone breaking the rules while filling up the spiral, such as whispering to their neighbour or trying to make contact while walking, should be told because it makes the group feel unsafe when someone signals that the rules don’t apply to them. 

Once the room is filled and everyone sits silently, I explain the rules.

First Rule: Numbers will be called out randomly during the ritual. When your number is called, you must stand up and leave, say no goodbyes or last wishes and no finishing up. This is why you must carry your things around, as you can’t go and look for them when you are dead. Your ritual may only be five minutes if your number is the first or several hours if you are the last one alive.

Second Rule: No talking. The ritual is a wordless time and space. If you need to communicate, compose a note at the writing station, and deliver it gracefully. This rule may be broken for safety reasons, like expressing a boundary.

Third Rule: You can leave whenever you want to by pretending that the number read is your number. Suppose the ritual is too much or intense for you. If you are simply bored, I would encourage you to stay with your boredom, as it’s also part of life before death.

Fourth Rule: Interaction with others is initiated with the following choreography. Eye contact, hand contact, and body contact – in that order. Never touch anyone before meeting their eyes, and never touch anyone’s body before touching their hands.

Fifth Rule: Make eye contact and give the angels at the door a nod to show that you are okay when leaving the ritual. If you don’t, one of them will follow you out to check in with you.

Within the rules above, you may do anything you want with your last time before death. You may play, dance, meditate, cry or make love. You may meet new people, you may share a goodbye with your loved ones, or you may stay all alone. You decide how your life before death will be.

Once the rules are explained, I’ll play music and observe how life before death unfolds. I’ll divide available numbers with the total time of the ritual and simply pull the numbers one by one from the bowl, read them out using a microphone and cross them off the tracking list.

At this point, there is not much I can do to influence how the ritual unfolds. However, I can alternate the tempo of how I read the numbers, like going faster when little happens—or slowing down when there is a meaningful atmosphere in the room. I can hush people who speak and remind people to leave quickly without saying goodbye. And if the energy gets very intense, I’ll remind the participants about the choreography for making contact and that they can actually leave whenever they want by pretending that a number is theirs.

Sometimes I’ll prearrange some special happenings with musicians, dancers or performers to make an improvised appearance during the ritual. One of the most beautiful moments was when a friend brought her violin and played the theme song from Schindler’s List when only a handful were left alive. Once only one person or number remains, I’ll read that out and let them take their time to say goodbye to the space.