The breath is a powerful tool that can influence how we experience pain, intense sensations and sacrifice. It has been practised for thousands of years in various esoteric schools, such as pranayama in yoga, holotropic breathwork in new-age hippie circles, and cold water breathing for health enthusiasts. The idea is that by altering our breathing patterns, we can change the hormonal cocktail in our brain and other bodily functions. Although we can’t tell our brain to produce more dopamine or endorphins, we can easily alter our breathing to achieve similar effects. Learning to control your breath is like learning to ride a bike: it takes patience and exercise at first, but it eventually becomes muscle memory and second nature. 

As a result, switching from one technique of breathwork to another can take much effort. For example, it may seem impossible to switch from yoga breathing, which involves an in-breath of muscle tension and an out-breath of relaxation, to Pilates breathing, which is the opposite. However, the effects of these techniques are similar enough that any differences only matter if one is very dogmatic.

Breathing and the Nervous System

There are two techniques that can be used to affect the nervous system: raising activation and lowering it. The medical term for raising activation is arousal, which refers to more than just sexual arousal. Increasing arousal makes the body more present, stronger, and more rational. Physiologically, this is demonstrated by an increased heart rate and breathing rhythm, as well as the temporary suspension of non-vital bodily functions like digestion. Lowering the arousal makes the body more relaxed, dreamy, and accepting. Ideally, a person’s nervous system should be flexible and able to adapt arousal levels to meet their current needs, which is a sign of good physical and mental health. Trauma and stress can lead the nervous system to act uncontrollably or, in the worst cases, to either extreme activation or complete shutdown. 

I see the play of breath as a miniature play in the larger context of sadomasochism. As the dominant, it’s vital to be attentive to the breathing patterns of the submissive. Increasing the intensity of whipping will likely increase the activation of the nervous system and likely trigger the release of endorphins or dopamine. Look at this as challenging the submissive to let go deeper. Slowing down the breathing by placing a reassuring hand on the chest is a gesture of relaxation and safety. Similarly, the submissive can change their breath to intensify sensations or aid the body to surrender to more intensity.

Belly, Chest and Throat

The breath happens in three different areas of the body: the belly, the chest and the throat. Deep, slow breathing into the stomach gives rise to a sense of safety. Rapid breathing through the throat, on the other hand, tends to increase arousal. Try it yourself. Whether it’s panic or orgasm is up to the brain’s interpretation. Chest breathing is somewhere in between. Mouth breathing can heighten arousal, while using the nose has the opposite effect. Bondage can also manipulate breathing, such as by tying around the belly to block the diaphragm muscle from working or locking the head bent backwards so that throat muscles can’t pull more air into the lungs. Leather bondage gear is another way of achieving similar results, like wearing a strict corset or tight hood. Of course, this is a hasty generalisation, and proper study of breath and body mechanics can take years. My knowledge of anatomy from my medical massage training helped me to apply this knowledge to bondage.

Beyond the physical effects of breathing, it can also shift the focus of awareness. For many people, different areas of the body are associated with different emotional aspects of life. For example, for many esoteric practitioners, there is a massive difference between breathing into one’s heart or genitals. Although we all share some cultural aspects, the relationship between the physical and emotional body varies from person to person. Some mindfulness practices involve using the breath to scan the body for pain or discomfort, and responding to them with acceptance and love instead of avoidance and fear.

Understanding Pain Through Breath

However, the experience of pain and intensity is entirely subjective. No one else can feel your pain, and there is no measurable way to express one’s pain. This makes pain a very lonely experience. In medical massage therapy, clients are commonly ask to grade their pain on a scale of one to ten, as some techniques can be very painful while others should only be relaxing. When we started meeting clients in our practice clinic, a new expression was born: the ‘old man five’. When pushing deep into one gentleman’s trigger points, he was squirming on the table as if he was about to die, and yet through his clenched jaws, he sputtered.

Five! It’s a fucking five!

On the other hand, pain’s mysterious and subjective nature brings it a depth and fascination, particularly as it forms such an intimate bond between people. I’ve met the thankful gaze of many teary-eyed older men after sharing their experience of pain, as if understanding them, just for a moment there on the massage table. In comparison, language is much more defined and, therefore, less mystical. Still, we speak about experiencing pain in all aspects of life, from accidentally kicking the door frame to the heartbreak of losing a loved one.